Many who experience craziness in their marriage go through a period of questioning whether or not they married the wrong person.
If this is you, you’re not alone.
I have been there myself and so have some of my friends. Here are my thoughts on the matter…
I’ve been reading through the Old Testament and I came to the story of Abraham sending out his unnamed servant to their former homeland to find a wife for his (Abraham’s) son Isaac.
We pick up the story starting with Genesis 24:10:
Then the servant took ten of his master’s camels and left, taking with him all kinds of food things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water.
Then he prayed, “O Lord, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a girl, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’ – let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”
Lo and behold, along comes Rebekah and does just that!
Let’s be clear here:
Rebekah was an answer to prayer.
She traveled home with the servant, married Isaac, and eventually gave birth to twin boys Jacob and Esau.
We know from the text that Isaac favored Esau (the first born), and Rebekah favored Jacob. Later in the story: Rebekah was instrumental in tricking her husband Isaac into giving Jacob the blessing that was meant for the firstborn son Esau.
I will place a link to the full story at the end of this article but the point I want to make here is this:
In spite of being God’s chosen mate for Isaac, she was also an imperfect sinner in need of the prophesied savior.
Not only that, but her son Jacob is named in the genealogies of that prophesied savior (Jesus) listed in Matthew 1:1-17 and Luke 3:23-38. There is much debate about the genealogies that I won’t get into because I’m not a theologian but the important thing to note is the genealogies are accepted as being for both Mary (birth parent) and Joseph (legal parent), and Jacob (Rebekah’s child!) is listed in both genealogies.
How awesome is that! Imperfect Rebekah was privileged to be in the lineage of Jesus!
With that in mind, I want to shift gears here and tell you the story of a woman I heard being interviewed on Youtube. She experienced Satanic Ritual Abuse at the hands of her parents and others during her childhood. I remember her saying in an interview that after becoming a Christian, she questioned the Lord on why she had to be born to her particular parents or into a family where atrocities were done to her and as she tells it, the Lord told her he needed her parents’ unique DNAs to uniquely create her.
In our fallen, imperfect world, God can work in the terribleness.
The point I want to make is: in spite of terribleness and craziness, God can move and work and turn messes into messages where you can give Him the FINAL WORD and ALL THE GLORY if you let Him.
IF YOU LET HIM!
I have another friend, now divorced, who tells me that God revealed to her that her youngest child (number 7) has a tremendous call on his life. If she had divorced her husband years earlier her son would not have been born.
(Special note: she is now divorced, but it was according to God’s timing AFTER her son was born.)
No matter your situation, God can WORK and BE GLORIFIED.
Beloved Friend, it doesn’t matter at this point whether you married the wrong person or not. If you are a follower of Christ, you are in a covenant marriage before God. Plain and simple! No matter the reasons for getting you to this place, repent for anything you need to repent of and move forward from where you are! Move forward in confidence that God will be working no matter the outcome!
Keep walking! Keep striving! Don’t give up!
God can work out extraordinary things in our lives and our generations even if we can’t see the big picture on this side of Heaven.
Things I want you to take away from this article:
If you are a follower of Christ, you are in a covenant marriage before God.
Just because you are experiencing extreme trials, doesn’t mean you married the wrong person.
Even if you got ahead of God and did marry someone that was not God’s first choice for you, He can still accomplish great things in and through your marriage. Commit it the marriage to Him.
Just because your situation looks bleak, doesn’t mean God’s isn’t working.
In fact, you may actually be doing a lot of things right and you’re giving the devil a run for his money!
God is a multi-generational thinker and He wants to accomplish something in our generations.
Maybe the devil knows God wants to accomplish something extraordinary in your generations!
God has a bigger plan in mind than we can even imagine.
His plan may not make any sense to us because we can’t possibly see the full picture that spans time and generations that He can see.
Both you and your spouse are imperfect.
Your DNA is unique and so is your spouse’s. And those DNAs came together to uniquely create your children.
You are part of something bigger than yourself.
Just because you are experiencing difficulties in your marriage, it doesn’t mean you made a mistake.
Some keys verses to memorize:
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28 KJV
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1
Read the biblical account of Isaac and Rebecca from Genesis 24 HERE.
Read the biblical account of Rebekah and Jacob tricking Isaac into giving Jacob his brother’s blessing from Genesis 27 HERE.
